Inner Demon
by AaronCottrell97
Summary: When something big, changing and even painful happens to someone, it can leave an impression. Sometimes only briefly, sometimes a very long time. After returning from the Harwick Branch Line, Thomas is still getting over the events that occurred to him and begins to worry about Emily's safety, but instead his paranoia causes Emily to worry about his own safety and well being.
Thomas was resting at a station on a fine afternoon. It had been a few days after the opening of the Harwick Branch Line and Thomas had returned back to his Branch Line and Tidmouth Sheds. Today, however, the Fat Controller had asked Thomas to work on the Main Line pulling the local. But Thomas didn't mind. He was proud to be whole and one again. The other engines were happy to have him back too. Especially Emily. She had been a big help for him through this tough section of his life and she felt proud of it. She had defended him from injustice just like he did for her to help her retrieve her old self. Despite this fortunate turnout however, Thomas was still overcoming one other thing…the recollection of some of the recent events.

When something big, changing and even painful happens to someone, it can leave an impression. Sometimes only briefly, sometimes a very long time. As Thomas pondered over the misfortunes that befell him over the past few days, his mind began to drift off and he remembered the more gritty parts of his life…Until he remembered being told about his brothers being scrapped and when he met Emma…it still troubled him even to this day, even if he did hear her voice that stopped him running away…but suddenly, something else came to mind. A very frightful thought. He thought about Emily…and her well-being! He couldn't possibly comprehend the thought of her being scrapped. As he remembered that night she was covered by a tarpaulin, at the smelters, his mind began to panic. He made a decision. He'd make sure he could keep watch on her as often as he possibly could.

His guards whistle blew and he was off with a jerk. "My goodness, be careful, Thomas!" called Annie and Clarabel. Thomas kept hustling along the line. Soon he heard Emily's whistle and she came up alongside him with four of her own coaches.

"Hello, Tommy!" she smiled. But Thomas didn't answer, or smile. He just looked at her intently and sharply. Emily was confused.

"Thomas? What's going on?" she asked. "Nothing, you look alright," Thomas said abruptly as he looked ahead of himself again. Emily grew puzzled. As they kept rolling along the line, she noticed whenever she turned or switched to a different line, Thomas was following her closely. Normally, she didn't mind this as it would mostly mean he admired her beauty, but because he wasn't smiling this time, she just had to keep going with a clouded mind. "That's odd. Thomas must be worried…" she murmured to herself.

The next day, Emily was taking her goods train along the main line. She could hear a puffing sound behind her wherever she went. Even when she stopped at stations to pick up or set down trucks, she could hear steam. She grew more and more confused.

That evening, Emily was to take one more train to Arlesdale End. "Uh…Emily!" Thomas called. "Can I…b-be your back engine?" Emily thought this was a good idea, working with her star in this way. "Um...Alright, Thomas. I could use a back-engine for this train," she said. But then a deep laugh reached her hearing. "Ha-ha! Of course, Emily. Everybody wants to be YOUR back engine!" said Gordon, suggestively. "A-hem!" said a sterner voice. The Fat Controller was there, frowning at Gordon. Gordon's face softened to a meek expression and he scurried away without a word.

Thomas and Emily were soon on their way. Although they made good time, Thomas was a little bumpy and rough from behind. Now Emily thought she'd have to ask him the right question. When their train was fully delivered she came up to him and asked him, "Thomas, why have you been acting so odd? You've been over-watching me, looking at me intensely and keeping right by me. I don't mind it, but you're really confusing me with your tense looks."

Thomas didn't want to scare Emily with what he thought. "Forget it," he said quickly before he dashed off. As he left, Emily thought she heard a sniffle from him. She really wanted to find out why her star was acting this way, but she'd find out sooner than expected...

That night, Tidmouth sheds was quiet and peaceful. Well, mostly. Thomas was stirring and murmuring in his sleep.

Through his closed eyes, at first he only saw blackness, but soon, colours started mixing through and a vision came into view. The sky looked the same as when he met Emma. He saw Vicarstown Bridge and Emily was there. She was talking about her former railway's work and then…how she was scheduled to be scrapped!

 _"What?! Impossible! It can't be!" Thomas said through shaking sobs. "I know there's nothing that can be done to save me from the smelters, I can say that I've lived a good life and I can hold no regrets," Emily said, crying. Thomas couldn't believe what he was hearing…Emma said the exact same words before she left to be scrapped!_

 _"You know what the best part about this is? Even though I'm going to die, my life long wish has finally come true. I love you, Thomas." And Emily crossed Vicarstown Bridge and out of sight. Then he saw the outside of an Smelters factory and saw Emily puff inside…right when her last puff of smoke disappeared, Thomas felt himself being sucked away from the entrance. As he heard the howl come from the factory, his view blurred, spiraled around and suddenly…_

Thomas had awoken from the nightmare. He was still in Tidmouth Sheds and the howl he heard was Henry's whistle as he passed by with the Flying Kipper. When he was past the sheds, Thomas was silent for a moment. He noticed the turntable was open to him…then suddenly, he rushed out of his berth, bawling his boiler out, waking Emily up. She had heard his murmurs and thought she had a few little answers to his recent behavior.

Emily went to follow Thomas but soon, she didn't know where to look. There were too many tracks to choose and Thomas could be anywhere. She thought for some time. Then suddenly… "The Fat Controller!" she whispered. She went along the line, looking left and right until she saw Topham Hall on the hill. She whistled loudly to alert that there was an engine waiting outside. After a few "toot-toots," she saw a light come on and a silhouette with a top hat appear in it. She watched another light turn on and saw that figure coming down the stairs. When the door opened, there was the Fat Controller, in his pajamas and slippers but also wearing his black jacket and top hat. He also had a lantern with him. He sluggishly walked down the hill to Emily.

"What's going on, Emily? What are you doing up this late?" he yawned.

"Sir, I'm awfully sorry to disturb you, but I'm looking for Thomas," Emily whispered. "He had a nightmare and ran off on his own."

"What kind of nightmare?" asked the Fat Controller.

"I heard him murmuring about me…being scrapped…and how I left Sodor the same way Emma left…I think he's fears I'm going to be scrapped," Emily said. Her lower lip started to quiver. The Fat Controller stared long and hard at Emily. After what felt like hours, he finally spoke.

"Emily, this issue has been addressed many times, and I still can't understand why my engines don't let go of this fear. You and the other engines are fully aware that I will NEVER scrap anyone. You are all far too useful and the very thought of scrap leaves a terrible taste in my mouth."

"I understand that, sir, but Thomas has been behaving quite strangely. He's been watching me endlessly whenever I'm even in sight of him."

The Fat Controller understood this. Emily was the most precious thing in Thomas' life. He gave Emily a message for Thomas: "Emily, when you find Thomas, pass on these words: 'I assure you, completely, absolutely and beyond any possible doubt, I will NEVER scrap any engine on the Island of Sodor. You, Emily, are Sodor's angel and you will ALWAYS live on Sodor forever.' Now, off you go,"

"Thank you…Goodnight, sir," said Emily. With that, the Fat Controller walked back up the hill to Topham Hall. Emily watched the silhouette move upstairs and the lights went out. After that, she continued her search for Thomas. She searched high and she searched low. She searched near, and she searched far.

"Thomas? Thomas!" she kept calling, but heard no reply. She searched all along his Branch Line and remembered grimly when Ryan had to run along this line after Gordon escaped red-handed, but Thomas couldn't be seen. She then decided to look at Arlesburgh. As she passed Arlesburgh Junction, she could see Rex, Bert and Mike fast asleep, but she couldn't see Thomas. When she reached the town she saw the Pirate Ship on display at Arlesburgh Harbour, bobbing about slightly in the bay. Seeing made her remember how cross Thomas was with the Fat Controller for not listening to him and giving Rocky the credit for discovering the magnificent ship.

At the edge of the harbour, Emily could see a little white sailboat on wheels sleeping near the lighthouse. She realized that it was Skiff. Even though she had never spoken or interacted with him, she was eternally grateful for Skiff for betraying Sailor John and saving Thomas from being blown up by the rogue pirate. If Thomas had been destroyed by the dynamite, she would have...Emily quickly shoved those thoughts out of her mind, she was trying to find Thomas, not think about losing him.

She went further and tried the Harwick Branch Line. She went past the area where the pit to the cavern once was and shuddered at remembering seeing her love so badly damaged. Then as she rounded the bend, she saw something cast in the moonlight…leftover wood splinters and black powder…this was where the dynamite landed after Thomas saved Ryan then was nearly driven away from Sodor. Emily seethed with mild vengeance as she remembered overpowering the Fat Controller to save Thomas from running away.

When she calmed down, she kept looking but had no luck. As she was circling back towards Knapford Station, she heard the clock chime. She looked at it and it read 2:00 a.m. She thought of the percussion of two and began to think… "Two…two…what has two syllables? …Black Loch!" she exclaimed. She took off into the night, hoping to find her love there.

* * *

Black Loch, like always was beautiful, quiet and majestic. The stars shone brightly and the moon was full and white. Beside the motionless lake was Thomas…exactly where Emily stood all those years ago on that very night. His face was covered with tears, he was sniffling hard and the crickets chirping somehow saddened him further. His mind was full of all the worries he carried for the past few days. Even worse, he couldn't get that nightmare out of his head. He could just hear those haunting words echoing through him…

" _I know there's nothing that can be done to save me from the smelters, I can say that I've lived a good life and I can hold no regrets_."

Genuinely hearing such words from Emma was heartbreaking indeed, but to hear them from Emily, even in just a nightmare was beyond horrifically tragic for Thomas. He started sobbing to himself as he could only imagine living without her. As he looked at the moon, his boiler began to churn and gurgle painfully and he began to ache inside from all the fear he was holding in.

"Emily," he heaved. "Please come back…I love you…" He kept crying and heaving until he heard a distant puffing sound. "H-hello?" he called softly and whistled. The puffing grew louder and nearer. He saw a light begin to shine…then slowly coming round the bend…was Emily.

"There you are, Thomas," she whispered. "I've been looking all over for you." Thomas said nothing as Emily came closer, then stopped. She saw Thomas' current state and felt bad. " _He must have felt this way when he found me,_ " she thought to herself.

"Thomas," she said. "You told me to forget it, but as your angel, I must know: Why have you been behaving so strangely, and paranoid?"

Thomas looked at her, tears still wetting his face. "Because I love you," he said, gasping through his sobs. "Besides that," said Emily. "You've been watching me constantly with a strange expression…Thomas, I know you're still getting over the recent events when the biggest mess of your life came and went, but this is very different. I heard you at the sheds tonight. What did you dream?"

Thomas knew he couldn't refuse this question. He had to spit everything out. "Alright Emily, it comes to this: The recent events made me remember the angriest most unstable times of my life…You needed my help back when you were still suffering...but you must know...I need you just as much. When I defended you from 'Arry and Bert, when I was accusing Rosie of the loss of my brothers, and when I demolished that tower at Great Waterton, I lost control of my own emotions, I went overboard. Following those events, I grew frightened of what would happen to me if I kept losing my self-control. And I nearly lost it again when I was trapped on Misty Island. The Logging Locos kept making fun of you and was I so close to attacking them like I did to 'Arry and Bert...but...but..."

"But what, Thomas?" Emily asked.

"...I stopped myself...I stopped because I heard your voice in my head begging me to stop. You, Emily, are the best thing that has ever happened to me...my deep and powerful love for you can't make me happier, but it has spawned something within me, a rebellious side has spawned and thrived in me...because of you."

Emily looked hurt but Thomas reassured her.

"It's not your fault, Emily. You were still very sad and scared then, but my overly determined and desperate desire to help you started my lack of self-control. I was only able to stop hurting Bash, Dash and Ferdinand because I heard your voice. You are the best and only cure to keeping my emotions in line. You are my beautiful emerald angel...and you are what calms my emotions and strengthens my self-control...and...and...I had a nightmare about you…" He told her everything he dreamed and Emily knew she had to reassure him…fast...

"Thomas," Emily began. "The Fat Controller-"

"I need you, Emily!" Thomas shouted as tears welled up in his eyes and he started gasping. "I need you just as much as you need me! I almost lost you when Gordon and James ruined your happiness! And when I drifted off to Misty Island! If you were scrapped, I'd beg to be scrapped too! I want you to always live with me, forever! Losing Emma was bad enough! Don't leave! Please!" he pleaded.

"Thomas!" Emily exclaimed. "Don't talk like that! You know the Fat Controller wouldn't do such things! He sent me with a message telling you-"

"I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN!" Thomas shrieked as he buffered hard to Emily. Emily was shocked by his outburst...

"...I can't...not for real...I won't survive without you," Thomas whispered as his tears leaked out of his eyes. Then he started sobbing so loud that the noise echoed through the cliffs of Black Loch as he begged her over and over never to leave. It was heartbreaking for Emily to see her star cry, let alone be this distraught. But slowly, she came forward, buffered up to her frightened star...then gave that special spot on his cheek the softest, warmest, most gentle kiss he had ever felt. When Thomas' eyes opened, he saw his angel smiling with her ever-beautiful shining eyes.

"Tommy...Why did you worry so needlessly? I'm going nowhere. I'm part of this railway...and part of you. I miss Emma too...but I spoke to the Fat Controller. He told me to tell you, nothing is going to happen to me. I'll live on Sodor forever...with you, my handsome cobalt star." Then she passed on the Fat Controller's words.

After hearing the message, Thomas looked back to the rumours of Percy and Toby being scrapped and remembered what the Fat Controller said, recalling that he will never scrap any of his engines. Everything then began to dawn back on Thomas. He now knew that he would have his beautiful angel living with him on his home island forever, just like he always hoped. He started to cry again, but this time he was overly thrilled and happy. "Thank you…" he sobbed. "Thank you, Emily!" He just stood there and cried happily while Emily smiled and hushed him softly.

She would always be the angel to calm his inner demon.

Soon, he calmed down and stopped crying. Then he remembered something more lifting. He said, "You know, Emily...this does remind me...I heard Emma's voice in my head back when you saved me from running away. She told me never to turn my back on Sodor." Emily smiled sweetly. "Of course she did, Tommy," she cooed.

Very slowly but surely, Thomas inched closer to Emily, never looking away from her, and finally, their lips began to dance happily together in lovely, comfortable kisses. Tonight, because they were both so happy, it felt more amazing than any previous night they shared together. After five minutes of their lips dancing with each other, Thomas released and spent another five minutes kissing Emily's soft cheeks, making her blush and chuckle quietly. Then, like their anniversary, he very gently sucked on her cheeks, being rewarded with her happy, loving whimpers.

"Oh, Emily," murmured Thomas. "I've never told you, but I guess I can say it now…whenever I kiss you, your face is so soft and warm...you have the softest, warmest face ever."

Emily giggled shyly and said, "Thank you, Thomas. Oh, and…how soft is my face to you?"

"Emily…Softer than fur…softer than velvet…softer than a cloud…" whispered Thomas. "And warmer than the warmest bed too."

Emily's eyes dripped a few tears of happiness. "Oh…oh, Thomas…th-thank you…you're the sweetest engine I've ever met…I wish I could keep kissing you, for always…" she whispered as she leaned in and began to very softly kiss his cheeks.

"So do I, angel," Thomas whispered, enjoying her affections. He decided to also tell her about her lips as she began to suck on his cheek.

"Also…" he whimpered joyfully. "When you kissed me for the first time all those years ago…your lips felt very soft and warm too…and they feel much softer and warmer now…"

Emily's lips quivered and she started to cry softly, feeling ever-so touched by these words. She then began to sob quietly as Thomas started kissing her again.

After some time, Thomas' lips touched Emily's cheek and he let them linger for a few seconds so as to feel how nice and warm her cheek was. He could hear her sobbing and felt her warm tears. "Shh, Emily…don't cry…" he whispered.

"I'm alright, Thomas…I'm just so happy that you're happy again, and we know nothing will ever separate us," Emily sniffled. Then she kept whispering what she said on their anniversary, over and over, "Thomas…I-I want you…I want you, Thomas. I love you with all my heart! Please, never leave me, Thomas! Please love me forever…"

"My beautiful emerald angel, no other engine in the world can match your beauty. I want you too, Emily. I promise, I'll always love you…through eternity…" Thomas smiled as he kept kissing her softly so she'd feel happy and comfortable. He couldn't get enough of kissing her. She was the kindest, sweetest and most beautiful engine in the world and she was all his to love.

"Oh, Thomas…" Emily whispered as she felt his kisses keep coming. "Thank you…for everything. I promise, I'll always love you through eternity as well…"

"Oh, Emily…you're so beautiful…warm…and soft…" Thomas smiled. Then, catching her by surprise, he started to very gently lick her cheeks.

"O-Oh! Tommy, that tickles!" Emily squealed. Thomas remembered he had did this once before, back when she wanted an exciting delivery.

"Hmm, is my angel ticklish?" he smirked.

"Ye-he-he-he-hes!" Emily laughed as Thomas continued to tickle her. Thomas absolutely loved the sound of Emily's laugh. Hearing it told him she was very happy and it made him happy too. As not to tickle-torture her, he slowed down and pampered her more gently. Not only was her face very soft and warm, but he suddenly realized, it was also somewhat sweet. He sighed heavenly as he cherished her sweet face and how beautiful she looked. Then he stopped to let her rest. Her eyes were sparkling like jewels in the starlight and as she flashed her gorgeous smile, her beautiful, white teeth sparkled too.

"Close your eyes, Tommy…" she whispered. Thomas did so and waited…then suddenly, he felt something warm and wet on his face. He popped his eyes open and saw Emily, gently licking his cheek in return. "Ohh…Emily…please keep kissing me…" Thomas whimpered. That made Emily very happy. She continued to sweetly lick his cheeks, making sure he loved every second. After awhile, she withdrew and her loving gaze met his. "I love you," she cooed softly.

"Emily…"

"Thomas…"

Then their lips met again in lovely, happy kisses and went on into the night...After one, long, happy hour - possibly, they didn't know, nor did they care - they released and caught their breath, both shuddering over looking at each other's glow in the moonlight.

"Well, I think we should go home," Thomas murmured. Emily yawned sleepily, making Thomas chuckle at her cute sound.

"No…let's sleep here, Thomas. It's so much lovelier out here," she murmured. Thomas agreed and kissed her cheek before looking at the night with her. Then they looked at their reflections in the water as a small ripple went along the surface.

"It's so beautiful, isn't it, Thomas?" Emily whispered.

"It certainly is, Emily. I don't want this night to end," Thomas whispered, slightly sad. "It's so beautiful but I know it will rise into morning."

"But remember, Thomas. Every night is one you only see once...that means we'll see another beautiful one tomorrow," Emily smiled. She gave his cheek a soft kiss then buffered as close as she could so she could whisper those magic words.

"I love you, Thomas."

"I love you too, Emily."

They smiled at each other, touched noses and wished each other goodnight.

"Goodnight, Thomas. I love you."

"Goodnight, Emily. I love you too." They both let out a deep, sleepy yawn and buffered even closer to keep each other warm.

"Sweet dreams, Thomas."

"Sweet dreams, Emily."

They kissed once more, then Thomas and Emily drifted off into a calm, peaceful, deep sleep. Their buffers were pressed into their housings, their noses were touching softly and they slept with happy, loving smiles on their faces.

* * *

Oh guys by the way chapter 5 of "Restoring Lost Honour" is up, go review it already! Sorry, anyway here is the sort of but not really so much of a sequel more like a continuation to RLH. If you like this darker side of Thomas, then don't you worry because we'll be seeing it plenty more times in "Thomas and Emily's Relationship", which by the way is being worked on guys, I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long for it, but just wait a little bit longer. So as usual folks please leave a review telling us what you thought of this story and I'll see you soon. Take care now.


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